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That beating starts with a fist to the skull-a crunching, clumsy, punch not unlike a football player's punch to the facemask-and finishes the way fights actually do, which is badly, and in lopsided, bloody fashion. Seann William Scott is the goon in question, a massive lug of a black sheep whose parents disapprove gently of his career in bouncing until he gets a minor league hockey contract based solely off his ability to beat the fucking hell out of hockey players who dare to rumble into the stands.ģ. That jarring "good dude" and "was begging to hit my skull with his fists" is the heart of 2012's Goon, which is undoubtedly the second greatest hockey film ever made, and one of the best films ever made about the real thrill of channeled violence in sport. He's blind, but he's asking through the earhole 'Aw, come on, the game's almost over, let's go. One time in the minors I was going up against Tie Domi. "Oh, well, I'm not supposed to say this, but I fuckin' love it. One of those retired hockey players-an NHL guy who in 2008 still had a mullet and whose only nod to the past two decades was a fresh goatee-was talking about fighting. I learned that you should never, ever try to drink with hockey players or retired hockey players, because people who try this will die. Ne-Yo played the afterparty, and earned respect points for attacking it like it was literally the last job he would ever have.
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The Hives opened the ceremonies, and then fell into a crack in the Atlanta sewage system, never to be heard from again. In the future, the NHL is giving us a third just for the hell of it, and we will lackadaisically giggle as we lose that one, too. This is pretty funny because Atlanta no longer has a hockey team, and in fact has the distinction of being the only city to lose two NHL teams to other, colder environs. I went to the 2008 NHL All-Star game in Atlanta. LEFT JOIN image ON page.image_id = image.1. LEFT JOIN page ON quote.page_id = page.page_id LEFT JOIN quote ON page_quotes.quote_id = quote.quote_id SELECT quote.*,page.page_id2,page.page_title,page.page_slug FROM page_quotes LEFT JOIN image ON page_images.image_id = image.image_id LEFT JOIN page ON page_related.page_id_related = page.page_id LEFT JOIN wiki ON page.wiki_id = wiki.wiki_id LEFT JOIN image ON page.image_id = image.image_id SELECT page.*,author.*,image.*,wiki.* FROM page Not, for whatever reason, you guys think that I can be smart enough to be a doctor. Kids buy it and they wear it and it's got our name on it. I get to wear a uniform that doesn't have "security" on it. For once in my life I'm actually a part of something. You have one stupid son and you've got a gay son. I'm stupid!ĭoug Glatt: You're gay! I'm stupid and he's gay. Glatt: You can do anything except punch people, okay?ĭoug Glatt: No, I can't! Okay? I can't because I'm stupid. Glatt: It's an infantile way for a man to spend his adult years.ĭr. Glatt: How long do you think you can do this?ĭr. Glatt: Have you thought at all to the head injuries that come with playing such a violent sport? The concussions? Glatt: Douglas, it's good to see that you're having fun with this, you know, hobby.ĭoug Glatt: It's not a hobby.
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I'll fill your big thick ass full of fucking corn dogs.ĭoug Glatt: I wanted to give this to mom and dad, actually. Let's just go watch the Assassins kick the shit out of Oshawa. Ryan: Would it help that I want you inside me? That I want you to make lemonade in my chocolate factory? Hey? Fuck this sad shit.
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My dad and my brother, they have their doctor thing. I don't have a thing, you know? Like, you have your show. I didn't mean to bring you down, pal.ĭoug Glatt: Oh, no no no. He goes, I have the option of sucking all 50 at once or one a month for 50 fucking months. Last week, he called in pretending that he was from some fucking sweepstakes and he told me that I had won the grand prize of 50 cocks in my mouth.
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I'll probably feature it on next week's Hot Ice, unless that motherfucker Sully from Worcester calls in again. Ryan: I've never seen Rhea lose his shit like that before.